FAQ Friday

WERE YOU PLANNING ON 5 KIDS?

Thought I would jump in on this series and answer some of the questions I get asked everywhere and all the time. Since apparently total strangers are just dying to know and well, mostly because it's just therapeutic for me to answer it all in a way I can't when I'm asked while standing in the checkout line with small children pulling everything from the shelves.

Not really. Growing up I always wanted 5 kids. When I met Mark we decided 4 was a good number. Then we had one and we were exhausted. 

I'm pretty sure at this point we both thought one was a good number. But before we even had a chance to discuss having another baby he was already on his way. 

We struggled a lot those first two years with the newness of parenthood exacerbated by having two kids in 12 months (the first 12 months of our marriage also by the way!).

Then when the littlest turned two, things settled down and I think we finally hit our groove. The kids were best friends and kept each other entertained all day and night. 

I had more time to focus on our household and keeping it running smoothly. We were less stressed and had more time to focus on each other. Our marriage settled in, our home was at peace, and our little family of four felt, at least most of the time, perfect.

 We felt blessed beyond our wildest dreams. 

Every once in a while one of us would throw out an offhand comment about having another baby that would quickly be dismissed with some laughter. We didn't want to go back there again. We were done with formula, bottles were packed away, diapers were a thing of the past, our kids went to bed at night not to be heard from again until after sunrise. They could listen to and follow directions which meant we could take them places and do fun things with them. 

And most of all our marriage was strong as steel compared to the mushy thing it turned into while the kids were infants. Every once in a while I'd get that tinge that I wanted something, someone, more but I would always push it out and tell myself it was not right for us. Mark made it clear that he did not need any more kids, and I felt satisfied with the two that we had. Besides, three kids seemed like such a big thing. You're outnumbered! Nope, we were done. After all, we had our boy, and our girl, and they were just perfect. But God had different plans.

Shortly after they turned three and four I found out I was *surprise!* pregnant. I had dreams for a couple of weeks that I was laying on the ultrasound table and the tech was telling me there were five, yes FIVE, babies in there. I went in for an early ultrasound on my own with the two big kids. It was just routine and very early so no reason for Mark to take off work to accompany us. The tech said absolutely nothing for several minutes which made me nervous as could be. I thought for sure she was going to say there was no heartbeat. When she finally opened her mouth all she said was "Were you undergoing fertility treatments?". "No" I told her. "Why?".  I was terrified now for a totally different reason. My nightmare was about to come true! Is she going to tell me there are five in there?? Surely that's not possible, right?? She didn't say anything! Forever!! I held it in as long as I could until I practically jumped off the table and screamed "WHYYYYYY?!?!?" "Well I'm not sure but, yes ok I'm pretty sure, ok, well.... there are three heartbeats." 

And then and there on that cold metal table, with two preschoolers beating each other on the floor with matchbox cars, we became a family of seven.